LC50

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] I just want to understand. With everyday that passes by I realize more and more how helpless I am. It’s incredible how you can guarantee your own actions but nobody else's. I swear I’m trying my best, but why do I feel like it won’t matter in the end? Do I have control over anything at all? I’m spiraling again. This always happens when I think too much about redeeming myself. But, Jesus, why can’t they see that I’m trying my best? One day they will. If I keep showing them, they’ll see. [[I’ll go talk to her again.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] We’ve all been here for a while though I can’t seem to remember how it is we got here to begin with. The steel and aluminum walls envelop us in a dark, rigid encapsulation. It’s sometimes suffocating to me. It is durable, though. We can’t get out, but nothing else can get in. Besides the occasional strange occurrence, we’ve managed to…manage. What I hate the most about this place is how the smooth, metallic walls amplify the thoughts in my head. It doesn’t bode well for my tendency to overthink. I’d much rather have silence. [[I keep thinking about what I’ll say this time when I see her.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] “Hey, man!” I jolt back to reality. “Jesus Alan, you scared me.” “Sorry, man.” He smiles and lightly pats the side of my arm. “But I saw you all the way down the hall. You were totally in your head again, it's not like I snuck up on you or anything.” [[> “Yeah, my bad. Um…I was just going to find Gina.”]] [[> “I didn’t say you did.”]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] “Oh,” Alan sucks air through his teeth, “Yeah. You guys didn’t make any progress last time you talked?” “Nope. I think our entire conversation lasted four minutes.” “Hey, that just means you can break your record this time. Baby steps.” I take a deep breath, “We’ll see.” Alan looks at me for a moment. “You keep trying to figure out what you can do for Gina, but, Mike, I think part of getting her to forgive you is figuring out what you need to do for //yourself//.” His words bring me to a train of thought that I know I’ve been avoiding. I don’t even need to think it explicitly. I can just feel it, creeping beyond the horizon of my mind. It’s so hard, though. I’m afraid that if I try to fix it, I’ll only end up realizing that it’s just a part of me. Just who I am. [[I’m still trying my best.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] “Relax, Mike. What’s got you so on edge?” “Gina.” “Oof. Does she know she’s got you all worked up like this? “Oh, I’m sure. She’s really making me work for it. Not that I blame her.” “No, you blame yourself. But I think the weight of all that blame is just deepening the rift between you two. You gotta move past it, Mike.” He grabs my shoulders and moves in closer. Giving me a slight shake, he whispers, “A new beginning.” Is it possible? It sounds nice. But whenever I think, it’s like each thought traces the scars on my mind as they pass through the synapses, always reminding me of what I want to forget. [[I wish I could forget.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] This path is familiar to me. I can feel the ghosts of my past steps, each indented with a sense of growing hopelessness. It feels almost like a gauntlet, one which I have failed over and over again. Yet down this hallway I march, holding onto what little hope I have left that this time will be different. I look up from my feet and see her. She’s preoccupied, so she hasn’t seen me yet. It’s always now, when I’m a few steps away from her, that my mind decides to go silent, but it only makes uttering my first words that much harder. As I approach her, I force them to crawl up my throat. “Gina.” It’s the only thing that comes out. She turns her head towards me, but her body still faces away. “Mike. What do you want?” [[> “I just want to talk for a second.”]] [[> “How long are you going to be mad at me?”]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] “Not your strong suit.” “Gina, please. I know I’ve been a shitty husband. I know that this can’t be fixed overnight, but still, I want to try. Surely you– you see that.” I can’t hide the desperation in my voice. This time I’ll get through to her. “If you really don’t love me anymore, I’ll stop. All I’m asking is that we just try.” “Mike, it’s because I still love you that this is so difficult. Why do I love someone who’s let me down time and time again? I ask myself that all the time. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to love you. That’s why it’s so hard for me when you come to me with that look in your eyes.” “I’ll be better.” “But then… I’d really have to love you again. And I told you I don’t want to.” She looks at me with a mix of emotions, but all I can really see is pity. We both stand in silence for a moment. I don’t know how to respond to that. I’m not even sure I can process it right now. The noise in my head has come back. It feels like it’s blinding the corners of my vision. “Has Luke said anything?” I ask hesitantly. “Mike, he’s your child too. And he’s an adult now. Just have a discussion with him.” “Yeah,” I concede. I’m not sure what I was expecting. I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. It’s the real reason that I wanted to see Gina today. I was hoping she could tell me if he’d mentioned wanting to see me again. As I walk away Gina calls for me. “Hey, Mike? Just… give me some time.” The look in her eyes gives me a spark of hope. She’s not just looking at me, she’s //seeing// me. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I should just talk to him. [[But what if I’m too late? -> Stone Intro]] (set: $Gina to "good")

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] “How long? Until I can’t bear it anymore.” The look of disdain in her eyes is painfully clear. “Gina, I’m sorry. I am. But I’m really trying here. I want to give this my all, but you're giving me nothing. I don’t know what to do with that.” “Then do nothing.” Her head begins to turn away again. “Gina, what can I do?” I grab her arm. She looks back at me, annoyed. “You can stop cornering me like this.” I scoff. “I’m not cornering you.” “Well then, I can’t think of anything else.” She turns away from me. “Wait. How’s Luke?” I stop her again. “Seriously? You're his father. Talk to him yourself.” “I haven’t seen him around at all.” “I’m already his parent myself, Mike, I can’t be his parent for you too.” She shrugs and walks away. This time I let her. She’s the one who suggested I give him space to begin with. I’m only doing what she said. Now she thinks she can criticize my parenting. She’s probably right. She’s always right about this kind of thing. I’m always the one who’s lost. I don’t know how to do this. Be a good person, be a good husband, be a good father. I didn’t used to be like this. I see now where I went wrong. I’ve known for a while. It’s a malfunction at the root of my mind. If you get the wrong answer for the first equation, then the rest will only get more wrong. Now I’m stuck, trying to figure out how to untangle my thoughts so I can get the first thing right: [[Be a good person. -> Stone Intro]] (set: $Gina to "bad")

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] I could be anywhere in the world, doing anything I want, and yet I’m //here//, doing //this//. As a man of science it’s not really something I questioned. Until now. Now I find myself wondering how it is I got myself into this position. The obvious answer is that I wanted to help the world, but now I’m burdened by it. Does the act of saving something always feel so… heavy? Admittedly, science cannot explain everything. Ever since I’ve had these doubts, I’ve noticed a certain mysterious force about humans that allures me. I’m not sure if it’s a soul exactly, but there’s something that causes people to make illogical choices. Like knowing that you’re destroying your planet and continuing to do nothing about it. I don’t think science can explain why an entire species would do such a thing. Or perhaps science is the reason. Because as an intelligent species, we can just find another planet to destroy. But we must first make sure that it’s liveable for us, and that means testing certain… conditions. I know that. [[But I really don't like this test.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] I like recording and entering data. There’s something calming about data. I can detach myself from the source of it. View it simply as cold, hard numbers. This task is where I find the most peace these days. I can almost remember why I took this job to begin with. “I’m glad you enjoy doing that boring stuff.” It’s Mansfield. I work closely with him, which takes far more tolerance than dealing with spreadsheets. He’s my superior, though, which is probably why he thinks recording data is beneath him. Still, despite his brashness, he is brilliant and has the annoying type of charisma that makes it impossible to fully dislike him. “I don’t find it boring” “Clearly. Have you checked on them lately?” He leans off the desk I’m working on and moves to a group of monitors. “Um, no, not since I came in. It’s been two days since the last testing period was active so I doubt anything of note happened.” “That’s true, but you should still check on them every half hour. Set a timer if you know you’ll get too engrossed in your data.” He playfully sneers. “Anyway, we have the planet’s atmosphere composition fully matched in there, right?” “Yeah, want me to pull up the sensor data?” He chuckles. “You and your data. No, I don’t need to see it. I was thinking of running another test. That new isotope we discovered seems to have no physical effects, but I’d like to induce a psychological situation.” “Psychological?” “Oh, you know.” He flashes an unsettling smile. That heavy feeling in my chest emerges. I know what that look means. “Are you sure that it's really necessary?” I become more wary with each word I speak. I can tell by the way he looks at me that he found the question irrational. “This is bigger than us, Stone. You know that. We can’t wait any longer for these results, hoping a better way to find them will appear out of thin air. Do you want to save humanity or forsake it?” [[> “I do want to save it. Of course I do.”]] [[> “I just thought that there’d be a better way to do this job.”]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] He analyzes my face. “I thought you wanted to help people. Advance the world.” “I do.” "Just not like this, right? You just imagined the solution to every problem would be simple. We aren’t doing a college lab assignment, Stone. In the real world you have to make decisions, even if they’re not comfortable.” “Mansfield, I know what we have to do. I just don’t want to do any //more// than that. Because then it wouldn’t be science anymore.” “And you think I’m doing more than what’s needed because what? I like watching them squirm?” “I didn’t – no, I don’t think that.” “I’m not going to torture them.” He says as if the very notion was ridiculous. “I thought you trusted me.” “I do. I do trust you. It was just a question. I didn’t mean anything deep by it. I’m sorry.” He gives an acknowledging nod. “Well then, I’ll set up a test.” I shouldn’t have asked. I understand what he’s saying. I understand that it’s important, but I don’t fully believe there isn’t another way. And it’s not that I think Mansfield enjoys testing on them; I think that he doesn’t care about them at all. He doesn’t stop to think about what the subjects might be going through being put through all these tests. They’re just a means to an end. [[I’m glad I’m not them. -> Mike to Cole]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] “Good. Then we’ll proceed with the test. We need to know how they’ll react under stress before we….” He pauses and looks at me. “I’ll tell you later.” He gives me a quick smile before setting up whatever test he’s about to conduct. I don’t want to press the issue any further. It’s clear he thinks this discussion is finished. I think Mansfield thinks he has me figured out, but at the end of the day, we’re only coworkers. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know that when push comes to shove, I’ll trust my judgement over his authority. For a while, I kept thinking that someday soon I’d get on the right path again. Now I’m thinking that the right path doesn’t exist. The only difference in the paths that we take is that the outcome is more desirable for some than others. Oftentimes, though, we find that our paths force us to sacrifice one of the outcomes we desire in favor of another. You can't save everyone. [[We must all make a choice. -> Mike to Cole]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] I recall hearing that Luke was doing work in the northeastern quadrant. I usually don’t venture up there for my work, but I figured that I’d at least see him in passing in the transition areas of the quadrants. Has he been staying there this whole time just to avoid me? It’s my fault. I’ve dragged this on for far too long. As I wander the area, I can barely hear myself reciting what I’ll say to him over my erratic heartbeat. Why haven’t I found him yet? As I turn a corner, I see Cole, a friend of Luke’s. “Cole!” I jog over to him. “Oh, hey, Luke’s dad. It’s been a while.” He doesn’t seem particularly enthusiastic to see me. I wonder what Luke has said to him. Nothing that isn’t true, probably. “Yeah, it has. I haven’t been over here in a while. Haven’t been able to.” That’s an excuse. I don’t know why I just said it. It just came out. My heart winces. Have I really gotten any better if I’m still trying to find ways to defend myself? I need to ask anyway. “I’m looking for Luke. I was wondering if you’d seen him?” He doesn’t look surprised, but he doesn’t look down on me either. There’s a neutrality, a sort of innocence almost, in his eyes. “Why?” His tone matches his look. No criticizing undertone, just a simple question. Except it’s not as simple as he makes it sound. It’s the hardest question for me to answer. [[> “I haven’t always been there for him. I want to try to fix our relationship.”]] [[> “Because I failed him as a father.”]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] He looks at me for a moment. “He works closer to the northwestern side of the quadrant.” “Thank you.” I head over with a renewed sense of hope, but as I comb the area, I still can’t find Luke. Where could he be? Did Cole lie to me? Or is he just not here at the moment? What if he saw me before I saw him and hid? I have no idea what to do. For the first time in a long time, I’ve mustered up the courage to talk to him. What if that courage fades? When will the next time be? I know I must cling onto my resolve with everything that I have, but it’s like a frightened animal – the harder you try to hold onto it, the faster it will flee. [[I’m pathetic. -> Jane]] (set: $Luke to "missed")

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] Cole hums to himself while thinking. He looks at me again as if searching for something. He sighs. “He works closer to the southeastern part of the quadrant.” “Thank you.” I head over with a sense of uneasiness. I keep wondering why Cole thought so hard before he answered. Was he trying to come up with a convincing lie? Or was he debating whether to tell the truth? Does he even know the truth? What if he has no idea where Luke is? Then what would I do? I can feel everything start to unravel again. I try to rationalize by telling myself that this place is only so big, but if he really tried, would he be able to avoid me forever? I’m such a piece of trash. If no one wants to see me, what worth do I even have? What kind of a person does that make me? Does it make me a person at all? I feel like crying. The corridors spin as I walk down them. I’m not sure how I’m still standing. “Dad?” I look up and see him. [[Luke.]] (set: $Luke to "met")

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] I’ve had this feeling in my gut all day. It’s like someone’s sticking their hands in me, twisting everything around. It happens occasionally. No matter how my life is going – good, bad, or anywhere in between – I can always come up with some paranoid reason why it’ll all go downhill. I can’t let this get to me, though, not now. There’s too much at stake. As I walk down the hall, I see a noisy gathering at the end. Reaching the commotion, I push myself through the crowd. On the ground lies a lifeless body. I know her. I knew her. Her name was Jane, and although we were only acquaintances, she was always friendly to me. Why is she dead? When did this happen? There’s foam coming out of her mouth and her eyes are rolled back into her head. This doesn’t look normal. “What happened?” I ask the person next to me. “I don’t know. No one seems to. I heard Anna over there found her this morning, but other than that….” He shrugs and shakes his head at me. “Her face… people are freaking out.” He leans in and says quietly. A group of investigators push into the crowd. “Alright everyone, please disperse! We’ll take care of things from here.” “What the hell happened to her?” Someone in the crowd shouts. Many other people follow suit, shouting over each other, asking for answers. “We will investigate this matter and as soon as we have answers we will tell you. Until then, please remain calm and go about your day as usual.” I have a feeling that no one is going to go about their day as usual. Something of this magnitude has never happened here before. Everyone is secretly looking at one another with suspicion as if they might have killed Jane. I guess it's possible she could’ve killed herself. I don’t want any part of this, but like everyone else, I can’t stop thinking about it. [[There has to be a simple explanation.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] “What are you doing here?” he says with a mixture of surprise and contempt. “I came to see you.” I say trying to pull myself together. “Yeah, I don’t want to see you.” “I know, I know.” He scoffs. “Luke please, I know. I know I’ve failed you. I don’t even know what to say. It’s clear to me now that an apology isn’t enough.” “It’s not that it isn’t enough. It isn’t //anything//. A sincere apology is for someone who's been in your life, and you haven’t been in mine.” “What about an insincere apology?” I don’t know why I said that. I don’t even know where to begin with this. Luke looks confounded. “I mean– not insincere, I didn’t mean– I don’t really know why I said that.” I laugh awkwardly. But I realize that I might know where to begin now. I try again, “Well, maybe I did mean it. If a sincere apology is for someone in your life then an insincere apology would be for a stranger right? And that’s what I am to you – a stranger.” He looks confused, but at least I have his attention. My words come out cautiously. “Well, what if this stranger said he wanted to get to know you? From the very beginning. Would you accept his insincere apology then?” The logic is convoluted, but he realizes now what I’m trying to say. I think I can actually see a bit of vulnerability begin to show on his face. “I- I don’t know.” He still has his guard up. But now he looks at me with pained anger, not emotionless disregard. “As strangers, we can start with the basics. What’s your name?” He rolls his eyes at me. “Seriously, Dad?” “Alright, alright. I know your name. I guess sometimes strangers do know each other’s names. That just means we can get into more interesting stuff, like… what kind of things do you like to do?” He stares at me with the same look in his eyes. “Why now?” I think about what to say. I need to choose my words carefully. I can’t lose this chance. “I don’t know. I’ve sat with my thoughts for so long. First, I realized where I went wrong. Then I just wallowed in my self-hatred, thinking that trying to make amends would be pointless.” The words are just flowing out now, but I can’t look him in the eyes. I don’t want to see the way he’s looking at me because I know how I would look at me. I continue, “I don’t know how I found the courage to stand in front of you. I keep talking about myself, but maybe it was you. Maybe it was the possibility that I could be a father again, a husband again, that I could be in the lives of the people I love, even if I’m not perfect.” I look up at him, blinking back tears.“I don’t think I can give you the answer you’re looking for. I can only give you the answer I know.” His eyes are watering too. He swallows and looks down, fidgeting with his hands. “I never wanted you to be perfect.” He looks back up. “I just wanted you to be there.” “Is it too late?” My voice cracks. His lips tremble. “No.” I let out a sudden exhale and smile. The tears in my eyes finally drip down my cheeks. “It might take a while for me, though. I want to go slow, start from the beginning,” He says. I nod, wiping my tears away. “Of course. I have to do it right this time.” He gives me a slight smile and I fight back more tears. I didn’t know if I’d ever see that again. “Okay.” He takes a deep breath, suddenly breaking out of the emotional atmosphere. “I gotta go to work now. But we can talk more later.” “When?” I insist. I don’t want to let him go just yet, but I know I shouldn’t cling. “Um… I’m free the day after tomorrow.” “Okay. I’ll meet you over here?” “Sure. See ya.” We talked. He was actually talking to me. I’m still in shock, but as he walks away I feel confident that I’ll get to see him again, and this time, we’ll get to know each other. [[From the beginning. -> Jane]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] Even though I find my data processing work mundane, I still revel in a sense of accomplishment when I finish it. Perhaps it’s because I’ve completed a long task, or perhaps it's because I’ve finished a task that others would resent doing. I do take pride in that. I lean back in my chair and stretch, admiring the work I completed. I wheel my chair across the room where Mansfield has been working. He’s studying the monitors with a clipboard in hand, jotting down notes. “How’s it going?” He looks over at me. “Oh, pretty good, I think. I’m liking these results so far,” he says with optimism. “What test did you conduct?” He uses his pen to point to one of the monitors. The screen shows one of the subjects dead, with some others huddled around. I jump up from my chair. My heart sinks. He told me he wasn’t going to do this! He told me he would only do what was necessary! Did he lie to me? Or does he really think that this is necessary? Now I feel anger rising within me. I truly don’t know if he takes pleasure in inflicting pain on them, but it’s clear he took the easy way out. I know we could’ve found an alternative test relatively quickly that wouldn’t have harmed any of them. He didn't have to go that far to induce stress, so why? “You killed one of them?” My tone doesn’t hide my anger. “Woah.” He leans away from me in his chair. “Yeah, I did. You got a problem with it?” “Yeah, I do. We could’ve easily come up with a non-lethal test.” His words are cold and judgemental, like he’s talking to a stranger, “Seriously? Non-lethal? Do you hear yourself?” I need to stand my ground here – trust my gut over his authority. “Yeah, I do hear myself. I hear a voice of reason.” He chuckles and stands up, hovering over me. “That’s cute.” He clicks his tongue. “Felix, I want you to think carefully before you answer because now I need to know if you’re still able to do what needs to be done.” He points to the monitors while still looking me dead in my eyes. “You don’t actually care about them, do you?” [[> “We’re not superior to them. Why shouldn’t I?”]] [[> “I just think we should do non-harmful tests whenever we can.”]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] “Is that what you think?” He says patronizingly. “Well, apologies, I didn’t know you were the boss here.” My jaw clenches. “I’m just saying–” “You’re just saying you don’t understand the gravity of the situation. I’ve been ordered to get results as soon as possible, and that means I don’t have time to wait for you to think of your perfect, little non-lethal tests.” He snaps in my face, “Get out of fantasyland, Stone.” “Yeah, I’m the one who’s in the wrong headspace,” I mutter under my breath. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing.” We both look at each other with resentment. “We’re only doing one more test. I need you to get an LC(text-style:"subscript")[50] ready. We’re using the rain water sample.” “Wait, seriously?” “Yes.” He answers firmly, without hesitation. I try to find words to oppose, but only stuttering comes out. “Don’t say we need to think of another test.” He stops me in my tracks. “There is no other test, and you know it.” He’s right. There isn’t, not this time. But I hate how he uses that argument as if it applies to everything else. He didn’t need to kill that test subject, but he won’t admit it. I can’t even defend him anymore. (if: $Luke is "met")[[I can’t even defend myself. -> Cole p2 met]] (if: $Luke is "missed")[[I can't even defend myself. -> Cole p2 missed]] (set: $Lie to "Freed")

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] The atmosphere has been tense ever since Jane’s body was discovered. Everyone’s looking for an explanation, but no one can give one. I woke up fatigued today, but with all the stress I’ve been under lately, I’m not surprised. I’m lost in thought, thinking about where I should go from here with Luke and Gina when a gust of wind blows past me. I look to my side and see someone running down the hallway. I look to the other side and see nothing. Odd. People here don’t often need to be in such a hurry. I didn’t even see who it was. As I head towards the dining hall for breakfast,I see someone sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. I recognize him; it’s Sean. Anna is kneeling in front of him and holding on to his shoulder, concerned. “Sean, are you alright? What's going on?” I ask, crouching beside them. “He has it worse than others, I don’t know why,” Anna says, panicked. “Has what?” “The sickness. It happened so suddenly.” Sean abruptly leans to his side and vomits violently on the floor. I back away and stand up, suddenly feeling a sense of panic and urgency I didn’t have before. Anna looks up at me as if she’s asking me what she should do. I feel guilty because I can see how scared she is, but all I can think about is my family. “I’m sorry. I have to go find my son.” I run to the northeastern quadrant as fast as I can. My mind is racing so fast I can’t even piece together my thoughts. As I round a corner I slam into someone. “Luke’s Dad?” “Cole? Have you seen Luke?” He doesn’t quiz me this time, probably because of the desperation in my voice. But even if he wanted to, I don’t think he could; he doesn't look too good. “Uh, I think–” Cole suddenly starts having a coughing fit. He keels over, gasping for air in between coughs. I wince at the sound of it. He takes his hand off his mouth, revealing a small pool of blood. He looks up at me and a string of mucous blood falls on his chin. “What’s happening to me?” His voice shakes. “I don’t know, Cole, but please–” “I can’t take it anymore. I don’t wanna be here anymore” He starts crying. “This place… there’s something going on here. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die here.” I slap him. “Listen, Cole. You are not going to die. Everyone probably just has food poisoning, you’ll be fine. Now, I need you to tell me where my son went.” “His mom.” He inhales raggedly. “He went to see his mom.” “Okay, thank you Cole. Here,” I sit him down. “Just try to calm down and rest. You’ll be okay, I promise.” He nods, frantically wiping tears that keep falling. I start running again, back where I came from. This is a good situation, though. If he went to see Gina then I can get to both of them at the same time. [[I won’t be too late this time.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] The atmosphere has been tense ever since Jane’s body was discovered. Everyone’s looking for an explanation, but no one can give one. I woke up fatigued today, but with all the stress I’ve been under lately, I’m not surprised. I’m lost in thought, thinking about where I should go from here with Luke and Gina when a gust of wind blows past me. I look to my side and see someone running down the hallway. I look to the other side and see nothing. Odd. People here don’t often need to be in such a hurry. I didn’t even see who it was. As I head towards the dining hall for breakfast,I see someone sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. I recognize him; it’s Sean. Anna is kneeling in front of him and holding on to his shoulder, concerned. “Sean, are you alright? What's going on?” I ask, crouching beside them. “He has it worse than others, I don’t know why,” Anna says, panicked. “Has what?” “The sickness. It happened so suddenly.” Sean abruptly leans to his side and vomits violently on the floor. I back away and stand up, suddenly feeling a sense of panic and urgency I didn’t have before. Anna looks up at me as if she’s asking me what she should do. I feel guilty because I can see how scared she is, but all I can think about is my family. “I’m sorry. I have to go find my son.” I run to the northeastern quadrant as fast as I can. My mind is racing so fast I can’t even piece together my thoughts. As I round a corner I slam into someone. “Luke’s Dad?” “Cole? Where the fuck is my son?” I grab onto his collar. “You lied to me didn’t you? He wasn’t there.” The accusation flies out of my mouth. “I- I’m sorry! He told me to!” He leans his head to the side, wincing like he’s expecting me to hit him. “What?” “He- he said that if you ever asked me where he was and said some fake shit about wanting to be a better parent that I should lie.” “Fake shit?” “His words, not mine! He said that coming from you, it would be a lie, so I should lie too.” He whimpers, still afraid of my reaction. I drop him. He thought it was a lie? But it was the truth. I was telling the truth. How would he know if it was a lie? We hadn’t seen each other in so long. The realization hits me. That’s why. Maybe he was right. I’m starting to question now whether that was the truth, and if it was, why did it take me so long? It doesn’t matter. I need to find him now. “Where is he?” “Uh, I think–” Cole suddenly starts having a coughing fit. He doubles over, gasping for air in between coughs. I wince at the sound of it. He takes his hand off his mouth, revealing a string of mucous blood that breaks, landing on his chin. “What’s happening to me?” His voice shakes. “I don’t know, Cole, but please–” “I can’t take it anymore. I don’t wanna be here anymore,” he starts crying. “This place… there’s something going on here. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die here.” I slap him. “Listen, Cole. You are not going to die. Everyone probably just has food poisoning, you’ll be fine. Now, I need you to tell me where my son went.” “His mom.” He inhales raggedly. “He went to see his mom.” “Okay, thank you Cole. Here,” I sit him down. “Just try to calm down and rest. You’ll be okay, I promise.” He nods, frantically wiping tears that keep falling. I start running again, back where I came from. This is a good situation, though. If he went to see Gina then I can get to both of them at the same time. [[I won’t be too late this time.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] I try to force down the cough I feel in my throat, but my mouth is already dry from exertion. It feels like I’ve been running forever. Maybe I’m running in circles. I have been my whole life. I almost begin to spiral again when I see Gina. She’s hunched over, leaning her shoulder against the wall. “Gina!” I run over to her. “Oh God, Gina.” She looks up at me, breathing weakly. Her eyes look sunken and she’s sweating all over. “Luke,” she groans weakly. “I know. We’ll go find him. Here, hold onto me.” I put her arm around my shoulder and we struggle to take a few steps. We’re too slow. We need to go faster. I need to get to Luke now. “Put both of them around me.” I take her hands and clasp them around neck. I start walking as fast as I can, dragging Gina behind me. The faster I go the more her hands choke me, exacerbating the burning in my throat. I fight it with everything I have. I know the second I cough it may be over for me. I think of Jane. I think of Sean. I think of Cole. None of that matters to me right now, though. I only have one goal. I feel Gina’s hands let go of me, and I hear her hit the floor. I turn around and see her desperately trying to get air. She’s suffocating. I kneel down in front of her, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I can help her. I don’t want to leave her, but I can’t stay. I have to get to Luke. She reaches her hand out towards me, barely moving it an inch. I grab hold of it. “Go.” It’s barely audible, but she manages to get it out in between frantic breaths. Tears well up in my eyes. I hold her cheek and kiss her forehead. It breaks my heart to leave her behind. I’m trying to focus on Luke, but with each step I take I wonder if I’ll ever see her again. Part of me wants to look back just in case it’s the last time, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I should’ve said it to her. [[I love you.]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] It’s getting harder to breathe. I’m exhausted. I slow down for a second, but then I picture his face and start running again. I pass many others, some writhing on the floor in pain, some not moving at all. I dodge around their bodies, looking down every hallway. I see something in my peripheral as I pass one and turn back. It’s Luke. He’s lying on the floor. I run to him and fall at his side. There’s mucus and blood trailing down the side of his face and pooling on the floor. “Luke!” I shake him. “No!” I shake him again. His eyes open and he looks at me, terrified. He tries to say something, but coughs out blood. He keeps coughing in between strained gasps. The blood gurgles with his breathing. I lean him on his side. “Come on, Luke, cough it out.” I pat his back gently. A few strings of blood come out. He stops coughing, but he still can’t breathe. I can still hear the gurgling. I pat his back harder, but nothing comes out. His body twitches as he fights to get air. He tilts his head to look up at me. “Dad?” His voice is panicked, asking me for help. But I don’t know how to help. His breath becomes more erratic. “Luke? No! Luke, come on! Stay with me!” I pull his squirming body into my arms. There’s nothing I can do. I start sobbing. “Luke, please. Stay with me, please.” His breathing becomes sparse, then stops completely. “No. No!” I pull his face towards me, but he’s looking off into the distance. “I love you, Luke. I love you.” I whimper hoarsely. I feel his body go limp. I wail uncontrollably, clutching him in my arms. I can’t let go. I can’t let go of him. He’s my son. [[>>>>>]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] LC(text-style:"subscript")[50]. The lethal concentration of a chemical that kills fifty percent of a population. It’s used to measure the toxicity of substances. After four hours, half of them are dead. “You handle them. I’ll write down the results,” Mansfield instructs. I take the lid off the enclosure and put on the protective gear. I take a deep breath and pick one of them up. “Rat number 7326 – dead.” I put the body in a biohazard disposal box next to me. “Alright, next?” I feel Mansfield's eyes on me. He’s making me do this on purpose. “Rat number 2653 – dead. Rat 2526 – alive. Rat 2662 – alive. Rat 4462 – dead.” I look at the next one. There’s a live one next to a dead one. I think it’s actually mourning the dead one. I feel sick. “Next?” Mansfield’s tone is filled with impatience. I swallow cautiously and continue. “Rat 5853 – dead.” I pick up the one that is alive. [[> Truth: say it's alive -> Caged Ending]] [[> Lie: say it's dead]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] “Rat 6453 – dead.” As I move to put the rat in the disposal box, I slip it into the pocket of my lab coat. After all it’s been through, it doesn’t deserve to be tested on again. None of them do, but maybe I can save this one. (if: $Lie is "Killed")[[Maybe it can live a new life. -> Killed Ending]] (if: $Lie is "Freed")[[Maybe it can live a new life. -> Freed Ending]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] Mansfield scoffs, completely taken aback. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says under his breath. “Listen, I don’t care what you think. You will do your job, and you will do what I say. I will not hesitate to take you off this project.” “Maybe I don’t care if you do.” “Stone–,” Mansfield somehow manages to speak my name in a near growl as he clenches his fists. “I will blow up your career if you walk away from me. You seem to think you have choices here. There is one choice: do your job.” “I thought I was.” He stares at me for a moment. There’s a certain kind of anger in his eyes. The kind that’s mixed with feelings of betrayal. I feel myself looking at him in the same way. “We only need to do one more test. I need you to get an LC(text-style:"subscript")[50] ready. We’re using the rain water sample.” My heart sinks even more, but I’m not surprised at this point. “You knew this whole time?” “Don’t make me out to be a monster.” “Maybe you are. Maybe we are.” “We’re not. We’re scientists. You may not like it, but you know as well as I do that this test is necessary.” I’ve come to hate that word. Necessary. It’s such an absolute word that is too often used in a subjective way. How am I supposed to know what’s really necessary? And necessary to whom? I hate myself because in //our// subjective way, he’s right. (if: $Luke is "met")[[I hate this test. -> Cole p2 met]] (if: $Luke is "missed")[[I hate this test. -> Cole p2 missed]] (set: $Lie to "Killed")

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] I’m blinded by a sudden light. It hurts my swollen eyes. When I look up, I see that the ceiling is gone. In the distance I see a towering figure. It reaches down into different areas of this place, pulling others out. The ones that are alive are picked up by their bodies. The ones that are dead are picked up by their tails. The towering creature reaches down to where I left Gina and pulls her out. Her limp body dangles in the air. I feel an unbearable pain in my chest. The tears continuously stream down my face. The creature reaches down on top me and I back away, dragging Luke with me, but it manages to pry him from my hands. I realized that my fingers hurt from how hard I was holding onto him. It reaches back down, this time grabbing me. It lifts me up in the air, and I realize just how much bigger it is than me. I look to the side and see some of the others who are alive in cages. I can only assume this is my fate. The creature brings me closer to its face and says something. The words resonate in my head. “So that we can live.” (if: $Gina is "good" and $Luke is "met")[[I don’t understand. -> End 1.1]] (if: $Gina is "good" and $Luke is "missed")[[I don't understand. -> End 1.2]] (if: $Gina is "bad" and $Luke is "met")[[I don't understand. -> End 1.3]] (if: $Gina is "bad" and $Luke is "missed")[[I don't understand. -> End 1.4]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Felix Stone] I waited for a while, even after we finished gathering the test results. Mansfield looks busy, actually analyzing data for once. “I’m going to take a quick break.” He grunts in acknowledgement. I go outside to the back of the facility. I haven’t felt the rat move in a while. I take it out of my pocket. It’s still alive, but it looks like it’s in shock. “You can go now.” I don’t even know if it can understand me, but I hope it does. I set it down on the ground. It just stands there, probably due to the shock. I back away from it, hoping to make it less cautious. It starts moving when Mansfield runs up from behind me and stomps on it. “What the fuck?!” “I could ask you the same thing,” he says. “Why did you kill it?” I scream. “You’re the one who said it was dead.” He says matter-of-factly. “You’re a fucking psychopath!” “No, I’m just showing you the consequences of your actions. You wanted it to be dead? Now it’s dead. You know, if you didn’t do all that bitching earlier then maybe I wouldn’t have realized what you were doing. You should be glad I did, though. Otherwise the data would’ve been skewed thanks to your lie.” I’m speechless. It’s taking all my strength not to break down right now. “There’s work to do when you’re done.” He yells as he walks back inside. I just stand there, looking at the carcass. I was stupid to think my choices would lead me to any other outcome. It’s a major flaw of the human mind. We think we are free to make our own choices, but all of our choices are forced upon us. It’s a social construct, imposed to make us think we have control over our lives. Ironic – it’s the act that you think gives you freedom that you can never truly escape. There’s a thought in the back of my mind. I know what it’s trying to do. It’s trying to comfort me, trying to rationalize the situation. I know that I’ll need to listen to it in order to move on, but it stings every time I think it. (if: $Gina is "good" and $Luke is "met")[[“It was just a rat.” -> End 2.1]] (if: $Gina is "good" and $Luke is "missed")[[“It was just a rat.” -> End 2.2]] (if: $Gina is "bad" and $Luke is "met")[[“It was just a rat.” -> End 2.3]] (if: $Gina is "bad" and $Luke is "missed")[[“It was just a rat.” -> End 2.4]]

(text-style:"bold","underline")[Mike] When I’m put down on the pavement, I freeze. The first thing I notice is how big this world is. I suddenly remember that I have memories of it, albeit vague. But in the memories I can recall, it didn’t feel this vast, this overwhelming. Suddenly, I feel a gentle touch on my back that jolts me to reality. I begin to run as fast as I can, but I don’t know why I am. I fear these towering creatures, but I don’t know why I do. Why do I move? Why do I feel? What purpose is there for it? My entire life was destroyed the moment I saw my wife and child’s limp bodies being carried out of that… prison. Was setting me free supposed to be some sort of mercy? I don’t blame them. And for the first time, I don’t blame myself. I don’t believe this is divine punishment. No, this is something far worse. This is luck. This is coincidence. This is an indiscriminate truth that I, the one seeking redemption, would live while they would die. There’s something excruciating in knowing that there was nothing I could do. Everything could’ve happened differently, but it happened this way. For no reason other than that it was simply possible. A memory pops into my head. It was long ago, when Luke was very little. He was so energetic at that age. He would always wake Gina and me up early in the morning by jumping on top of us. He never held back. He would jump as high as he could, spread his arms and legs, and land on us with his full weight. I would pretend like he was so big and heavy, but he wasn’t. He was tiny. He was so tiny. I don’t want to move anymore. I think I’ll just lie here. The ground is warm. It’s strangely comforting – the warmth, the silence in my head, my heavy body. (if: $Gina is "good" and $Luke is "met")[[I think I’ll close my eyes now. -> End 3.1]] (if: $Gina is "good" and $Luke is "missed")[[I think I’ll close my eyes now. -> End 3.2]] (if: $Gina is "bad" and $Luke is "met")[[I think I’ll close my eyes now. -> End 3.3]] (if: $Gina is "bad" and $Luke is "missed")[[I think I’ll close my eyes now. -> End 3.4]]

Ending 1.1: Stone decided to tell the truth that Mike is alive, and he is caged indefinitely for experimentation. During his talk with her, Mike was able to reach Gina, ending their conversation on a hopeful note. At the time of her death, his relationship with her was positive. Because Mike chose to admit his failures instead of seeking forgiveness during their discussion, Cole decided to tell the truth about Luke’s location. Mike and Luke were able to meet and reconcile with each other. Mike was able to talk to Luke one last time before his death. At the time of Luke’s death, their new relationship was only just beginning. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 1.2: Stone decided to tell the truth that Mike is alive, and he is caged indefinitely for experimentation. During his talk with her, Mike was able to reach Gina, ending their conversation on a hopeful note. At the time of her death, his relationship with her was positive. Because Mike sought forgiveness instead of admitting his failures, Cole lied to him about Luke’s location, as instructed by Luke. Mike wasn’t able to talk to Luke properly one last time before he died. At the time of Luke’s death, Mike’s relationship with him was almost nonexistent. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 1.3: Stone decided to tell the truth that Mike is alive, and he is caged indefinitely for experimentation. During his talk with Gina, Mike didn’t convey his true feelings and she remained cold. At the time of her death, Mike’s relationship with Gina was distant. Because Mike chose to admit his failures instead of seeking forgiveness during their discussion, Cole decided to tell the truth about Luke’s location. Mike and Luke were able to meet and reconcile with each other. Mike was able to talk to Luke one last time before his death. At the time of Luke’s death, their new relationship was only just beginning. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 1.4: Stone decided to tell the truth that Mike is alive, and he is caged indefinitely for experimentation. During his talk with Gina, Mike didn’t convey his true feelings and she remained cold. At the time of her death, Mike’s relationship with Gina was distant. Because Mike sought forgiveness instead of admitting his failures, Cole lied to him about Luke’s location, as instructed by Luke. Mike wasn’t able to talk to Luke properly one last time before he died. At the time of Luke’s death, Mike’s relationship with him was almost nonexistent. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 2.1: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, but his earlier oppositions after the psychological test caused Mansfield to see through Stone’s lie, killling Mike. During his talk with her, Mike was able to reach Gina, ending their conversation on a hopeful note. At the time of her death, his relationship with her was positive. Because Mike chose to admit his failures instead of seeking forgiveness during their discussion, Cole decided to tell the truth about Luke’s location. Mike and Luke were able to meet and reconcile with each other. Mike was able to talk to Luke one last time before his death. At the time of Luke’s death, their new relationship was only just beginning. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 2.2: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, but his earlier oppositions after the psychological test caused Mansfield to see through Stone’s lie, killling Mike. During his talk with her, Mike was able to reach Gina, ending their conversation on a hopeful note. At the time of her death, his relationship with her was positive. Because Mike sought forgiveness instead of admitting his failures, Cole lied to him about Luke’s location, as instructed by Luke. Mike wasn’t able to talk to Luke properly one last time before he died. At the time of Luke’s death, Mike’s relationship with him was almost nonexistent. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 2.3: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, but his earlier oppositions after the psychological test caused Mansfield to see through Stone’s lie, killling Mike. During his talk with Gina, Mike didn’t convey his true feelings and she remained cold. At the time of her death, Mike’s relationship with Gina was distant. Because Mike chose to admit his failures instead of seeking forgiveness during their discussion, Cole decided to tell the truth about Luke’s location. Mike and Luke were able to meet and reconcile with each other. Mike was able to talk to Luke one last time before his death. At the time of Luke’s death, their new relationship was only just beginning. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 2.4: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, but his earlier oppositions after the psychological test caused Mansfield to see through Stone’s lie, killling Mike. During his talk with Gina, Mike didn’t convey his true feelings and she remained cold. At the time of her death, Mike’s relationship with Gina was distant. Because Mike sought forgiveness instead of admitting his failures, Cole lied to him about Luke’s location, as instructed by Luke. Mike wasn’t able to talk to Luke properly one last time before he died. At the time of Luke’s death, Mike’s relationship with him was almost nonexistent. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 3.1: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, and because he didn’t oppose Mansfield after the psychological test, Mansfield never realized Stone’s plan. Mike is freed, but he has no desire to live. During his talk with her, Mike was able to reach Gina, ending their conversation on a hopeful note. At the time of her death, his relationship with her was positive. Because Mike chose to admit his failures instead of seeking forgiveness during their discussion, Cole decided to tell the truth about Luke’s location. Mike and Luke were able to meet and reconcile with each other. Mike was able to talk to Luke one last time before his death. At the time of Luke’s death, their new relationship was only just beginning. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 3.2: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, and because he didn’t oppose Mansfield after the psychological test, Mansfield never realized Stone’s plan. Mike is freed, but he has no desire to live. During his talk with her, Mike was able to reach Gina, ending their conversation on a hopeful note. At the time of her death, his relationship with her was positive. Because Mike sought forgiveness instead of admitting his failures, Cole lied to him about Luke’s location, as instructed by Luke. Mike wasn’t able to talk to Luke properly one last time before he died. At the time of Luke’s death, Mike’s relationship with him was almost nonexistent. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 3.3: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, and because he didn’t oppose Mansfield after the psychological test, Mansfield never realized Stone’s plan. Mike is freed, but he has no desire to live. During his talk with Gina, Mike didn’t convey his true feelings and she remained cold. At the time of her death, Mike’s relationship with Gina was distant. Because Mike chose to admit his failures instead of seeking forgiveness during their discussion, Cole decided to tell the truth about Luke’s location. Mike and Luke were able to meet and reconcile with each other. Mike was able to talk to Luke one last time before his death. At the time of Luke’s death, their new relationship was only just beginning. [[Title Screen]]

Ending 3.4: Stone decided to lie to Mansfield in an attempt to free Mike, and because he didn’t oppose Mansfield after the psychological test, Mansfield never realized Stone’s plan. Mike is freed, but he has no desire to live. During his talk with Gina, Mike didn’t convey his true feelings and she remained cold. At the time of her death, Mike’s relationship with Gina was distant. Because Mike sought forgiveness instead of admitting his failures, Cole lied to him about Luke’s location, as instructed by Luke. Mike wasn’t able to talk to Luke properly one last time before he died. At the time of Luke’s death, Mike’s relationship with him was almost nonexistent. [[Title Screen]]

Press the colored text at the bottom of each page to go to the next page. Some pages have 2 lines of colored text with arrows next to them. These are choices you can pick from. Your choices will affect the way the story progresses and the ending. There are 12 possible ending combinations. The name at the top of each page indicates who the current narrator is. There are two narrators: Mike and Felix Stone. [[Title Screen]]

(align:"=><=")[<html> <head> LC50 An Interactive Story Written by Rachel Sherrick </head> [[Start]] [[Instructions:]] </html>]